Sunday, January the tenth, dawned as a rainy, dreary day. The temperature had dropped overnight, and the sun did not get through the clouds till well past the noon hour.Barbara, the psychiatrist, arrived at her office just after 7 AM. She was unhappy with the weather. She was about to become a lot more unhappy.She knew that she should have reviewed the video of the first week before this. Now she had two weeks of video to review. Things just had not allowed her the time. There were too many problems that had required her attention over the last several weeks, and now Helen had not shown up for the last two days. What was wrong there? Who knew with Helen? What had she ever seen in that fool bitch anyway? She was always pissing and moaning about something. Maybe she should find a new playmate? The daughter was a likely prospect! Once she was cured of her damn desire for men. That would be soon, she was sure, and the girl was young. The girl should keep her interested for years, many. She was and still is, a hero.Then, at about age 16, I was given my own computer and I discoveredthe internet. I not only discovered it, I nearly drowned in it. I soonfound out I was not alone; indeed, there were many people goingthrough the same struggle as me. It makes such a difference when youknow others are feeling the same doubts and fears. It doesn't makethem disappear, but you realise they can be faced up to and, justmaybe, they can be overcome. They were also willing to show me how Icould cope with the bigotry and prejudice I would face if I went downthe path I was considering. I must have spent every spare moment fora year in reading and researching this new world. At last I had foundan identity; I realised my feelings weren't wrong or perverted. I felthappier than at any time in the past. I knew I wanted to be a girl,not a boy. I got to know people online and we would get together whenwe could and get loaded on cheap cider, dress together and playaround; nothing too bad.
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